简介
史上最劲爆的英文幽默集萃，它提供最贴心的服务，能随时带给你快乐，它是最好的药，能治愈忧郁；它是最多情的伴侣，能让你感受不到寂寞。
能讲笑话的人，都是智慧之人。会听笑话的人，都是快乐的人。时不时地幽默一下，人生增加了许多谐趣。本书为渴望拥有阳光心情者选取当下最流行的搞笑幽默短篇，涉及名人对话、人生感悟、青春爱情、职场江湖和创意思维等等方面，坚持最有趣，最有启发，最经典原则，让人笑不完乐不够。
本书双语幽默还能让你在旅行、小憩、度假时掌握更多劲爆笑料，是朋友间最好的料理，是职场上润滑的良剂。
目录
第一章 逗比朋友
1 I Have the Key 我拿着钥匙呢 2
2 That’s What I Want to Find Out 那正是我想知道的 2
3 My Dog Can’t Read 狗不识字 3
4 Two Friends 两个朋友 3
5 Who Is this Speaking 你是谁 4
6 Go Swimming 去游泳 4
7 What Do You Call Your Other Arm 另一只手臂叫什么名字 5
8 Tell the Difference 区分不同 6
9 A Big Tiger 大老虎 6
10 Choice Questions 选择题 7
11 I Don’t Know 我不知道 8
12 Little Room 小房间 8
13 A Tip to Stay Awake 保持清醒的诀窍 9
14 The Umbrella 雨伞 9
15 Good Points and Bad Points 优缺点 10
16 I Wasn’t Dead 我还没死 11
17 Fishing 钓鱼 11
18 Dog Temperament 狗的性情 12
19 What Does It Say 它是什么意思 13
20 Silly Dog 蠢狗 14
21 One Engine Left 只剩一个引擎 15
22 The Poem Was Stolen 偷诗 16
23 Tossing the Coin 掷硬币 17
24 My First and My Last 第一次与最后一次 18
25 Pay As Little As Possible 省钱 19
第二章 走调职员
1 Fresh Milk 新鲜奶 22
2 Argue 争论 22
3 Do What You Can 尽力就好 22
4 What Should I Do 我该怎么办 23
5 Interview God 采访上帝 23
6 Yes or No 是与否 24
7 How to Do It 怎样做 24
8 Sooner or Later 迟早 25
9 Let Me Know What You Think 告诉我你们的想法 26
10 Two Attorneys 两个律师 26
11 He’s Not Doing Any Digging 他没有在挖 27
12 Connection 联系 28
13 Keep Secret 向主保密 29
14 Make Him a Conductor 让他当乐队指挥 29
15 You Were the Closest 你是最接近答案的 30
16 Brag 吹牛 31
17 The Oldest Profession 最古老的职业 32
18 A Soldier Asked for Marriage 小兵请婚嫁 33
19 No Answer 没回应 34
20 What the Heck Is Wrong with My Wife？ 我太太究竟怎么了？ 35
21 Weather Predict 天气预报 36
22 Problem with Gas 气体的问题 37
23 I Present Arms 敬礼 38
24 Whose Dog Was the Smartest 谁的狗最聪明 40
25 Researching This Insect 研究昆虫 41
26 Engineer 工程师 43
第三章 尴尬问答
1 Two Tickets 两张票 46
2 Still in the Same Cemetery 还在原来的墓地 46
3 She Is Too Fat 一个顶俩 46
4 I’m Not Beating My Wife 我没打老婆 47
5 It’s a Mirror 那是镜子 47
6 Of Course 当然明白 48
7 The Baldest Man 最秃的人 48
8 Wish He Were 但愿他是 49
9 The Smell Is Terrible 气味难闻 50
10 The Same Father 同一个爸爸 50
11 Pay Me Double the Tuition Fee 付双倍学费 51
12 Churchill and Bernard Shaw 丘吉尔和肖伯纳 52
13 Business Just Started 事业刚起步 52
14 God’s Perfect Masterpiece 上帝最完美的杰作 53
15 Hearing Problem 听力问题 54
16 The King’s Brother 国王的兄弟 55
17 Choose 选择 56
18 Who Was the First Man 谁是第一个男人 57
19 Not Having It All Cut Off 没把头发全部剪掉 58
20 Where Is Your Father 你爸在哪里 59
21 My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我妻子不下蛋 60
22 Captain’s Sister 上尉的妹妹 62
23 Letter to the Lord 写给上帝的信 63
24 Take Some Sand Paper Instead 用砂纸代替 64
25 The Wonder in the Bathtub 浴缸里的精品 66
26 The Best Salesman in the World 世界上最好的销售员 67
27 You Believe a Donkey 相信驴的话 69
28 An Englishman and a French Barber 英国人和法国理发师 71
第四章 诡异逻辑
1 Is That You Tom 是你吗，汤姆 74
2 An Interesting Man 一位有趣的男人 74
3 Harmful Movie 有害的电影 75
4 A Smart Housewife 精明的主妇 75
5 I Had to Change It Twice 不得不换两次 76
6 Twenty Pounds 二十磅 76
7 Borrow Money 借钱 77
8 Squeeze Twice for No 听不见捏两下 77
9 Card 卡片 78
10 Never Mind 不必担心 78
11 Still Too Dear 还是太贵 79
12 Paint House 刷房子 80
13 A Reason to Live for 活着的理由 81
14 Tony and Kyle 托尼和凯尔 81
15 A Man with Two Badly Burned Ears 一个两只耳朵严重烧伤的男人 82
16 Glad to Be Drunk 很高兴喝醉了 83
17 Is the General Expecting You 将军在等你吗 84
18 What To Do 怎么做 84
19 Race 比赛 85
20 Keep the Change 不用找零钱 86
21 Rain 雨 87
22 We Didn’t Step on It 还好没踩到 88
23 An Ad 一则广告 88
24 Who Dares Move Me 谁敢动我 89
25 Vow of Silence 沉默誓言 90
26 How Will I Find My Ring There 在那儿怎么找得到我的戒指 92
27 The Drunk 醉鬼 93
28 I Don’t Want It Either 我也不想要了 94
29 The Hard Five Minutes 难忍的五分钟 96
30 The Pope Himself Drives 教皇本人亲自开车 97
第五章 各有所思
1 Who Do You Think You Are 你以为你是谁 102
2 Walks Normally 走得正常 102
3 Things Go Athwart 事与愿违 103
4 I Must Be God 我一定是上帝 103
5 That’s No Good to Me 对我没用 104
6 Found Two 发现两颗 104
7 I’m Going to Sell the Car 打算卖这辆车 105
8 Without a Stove 没有火炉 105
9 Like My Father 像父亲一样 106
10 Upset Is Unhealthy 心烦即病 107
11 Looking for My Car Keys 找车钥匙 108
12 The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店员 108
13 I’m Not Married 我还没结婚 109
14 I Had to Kiss Him 我还得吻他 110
15 Someone’s Deodorant Isn’t Working？ 谁的除臭剂不管用了？ 110
16 Stupid Question 笨问题 111
17 Poisonous or Not 中毒没有 112
18 Legal Consultation Service 法律咨询费 113
19 The Discovery 探索发现 114
20 The Generous Bosses 慷慨的老板 115
21 I Am Acting like a Lady 表现得像女士 116
22 An Audition 面试 117
23 The Cat and the Saucer 猫与托盘 118
24 Get Out of Here 你给我滚出去 119
25 Did That Take You an Hour？ 这花了你一个小时？ 120
26 Hair‐Cutting 理发 122
27 What If... 如果……咋办？ 123
28 Charitable Lawyer 行善的律师 125
29 The Witness 见证人 126
第六章 秀外晦中
1 A Careless Barber 粗心的理发师 130
2 Qualification 称职 130
3 Helping to Clean the Dishes 帮助洗碗 131
4 Not Fair 不公平 131
5 One Egg Less 少了一个 132
6 The Dog Doesn’t Bite 不咬人的狗 132
7 Nine Bouquets of Flowers 九束鲜花 133
8 Out of Luck 运气不好 134
9 Old Age Eyesight 老年人的视力 135
10 Death in the Family 家庭中的死亡 136
11 Take off Cap 摘帽 137
12 Very Busy 太忙 138
13 Doggie Funeral 狗的葬礼 139
14 What the Problem Is 问题所在 140
15 An Englishman 一个英国人 141
16 The Patient Suffered a Severe Relapse 病情再度恶化 142
17 Making All the People Happy 使所有人都高兴 143
18 God Will Pay the Bill 上帝付药费 144
19 Upsetting the Stewardess 让空姐慌张 146
20 Quick Fix 快速固定 147
21 Lawyer 律师 149
22 It’s Getting Worse 更糟了 150
23 A LittIe Boy 小男孩 152
24 Two Men 两个男人 153
25 The Deaf Collector 聋子收钱 155
26 A Nice Stone 上好的石头 157
27 City Fellow 城里人 158
28 A Cheapskate 小气鬼 160
第七章 编外斗狠
1 Modern Art 现代艺术 164
2 Like Mother, Like Daughter 有其母必有其女 164
3 Why don’t You Come Back in June 为什么不六月份来 165
4 He Wanted Two Ballons 他想要两只气球 165
5 Expensive Price 昂贵的代价 166
6 Reason 原因 167
7 Stubborn Horse 倔马 168
8 Kids 孩子 168
9 Pink Suit Sale 粉红外套卖出去了 169
10 Get Off 马上离开 171
11 The Number of Passengers 乘客人数 172
12 You’re Going to Die 你快死啦 173
13 Brother in South America 南美洲的哥哥 175
14 Don’t Eat a Person Who Is Working 别吃干活的人 175
15 Musical Interlude 音乐插曲 177
16 Got any Duck Food？ 有鸭食吗？ 178
17 Duck Hunting 猎雁 180
18 Make a Bet 打赌 182
19 The First Class Cabin 头等舱 186
20 The Bad Day 糟糕的一天 187
21 Two Smart Blind Men 两个聪的盲人 188
22 An Affair 偷情 191
23 Where is rice from？ 米从何来 192
1 I Have the Key 我拿着钥匙呢 2
2 That’s What I Want to Find Out 那正是我想知道的 2
3 My Dog Can’t Read 狗不识字 3
4 Two Friends 两个朋友 3
5 Who Is this Speaking 你是谁 4
6 Go Swimming 去游泳 4
7 What Do You Call Your Other Arm 另一只手臂叫什么名字 5
8 Tell the Difference 区分不同 6
9 A Big Tiger 大老虎 6
10 Choice Questions 选择题 7
11 I Don’t Know 我不知道 8
12 Little Room 小房间 8
13 A Tip to Stay Awake 保持清醒的诀窍 9
14 The Umbrella 雨伞 9
15 Good Points and Bad Points 优缺点 10
16 I Wasn’t Dead 我还没死 11
17 Fishing 钓鱼 11
18 Dog Temperament 狗的性情 12
19 What Does It Say 它是什么意思 13
20 Silly Dog 蠢狗 14
21 One Engine Left 只剩一个引擎 15
22 The Poem Was Stolen 偷诗 16
23 Tossing the Coin 掷硬币 17
24 My First and My Last 第一次与最后一次 18
25 Pay As Little As Possible 省钱 19
第二章 走调职员
1 Fresh Milk 新鲜奶 22
2 Argue 争论 22
3 Do What You Can 尽力就好 22
4 What Should I Do 我该怎么办 23
5 Interview God 采访上帝 23
6 Yes or No 是与否 24
7 How to Do It 怎样做 24
8 Sooner or Later 迟早 25
9 Let Me Know What You Think 告诉我你们的想法 26
10 Two Attorneys 两个律师 26
11 He’s Not Doing Any Digging 他没有在挖 27
12 Connection 联系 28
13 Keep Secret 向主保密 29
14 Make Him a Conductor 让他当乐队指挥 29
15 You Were the Closest 你是最接近答案的 30
16 Brag 吹牛 31
17 The Oldest Profession 最古老的职业 32
18 A Soldier Asked for Marriage 小兵请婚嫁 33
19 No Answer 没回应 34
20 What the Heck Is Wrong with My Wife？ 我太太究竟怎么了？ 35
21 Weather Predict 天气预报 36
22 Problem with Gas 气体的问题 37
23 I Present Arms 敬礼 38
24 Whose Dog Was the Smartest 谁的狗最聪明 40
25 Researching This Insect 研究昆虫 41
26 Engineer 工程师 43
第三章 尴尬问答
1 Two Tickets 两张票 46
2 Still in the Same Cemetery 还在原来的墓地 46
3 She Is Too Fat 一个顶俩 46
4 I’m Not Beating My Wife 我没打老婆 47
5 It’s a Mirror 那是镜子 47
6 Of Course 当然明白 48
7 The Baldest Man 最秃的人 48
8 Wish He Were 但愿他是 49
9 The Smell Is Terrible 气味难闻 50
10 The Same Father 同一个爸爸 50
11 Pay Me Double the Tuition Fee 付双倍学费 51
12 Churchill and Bernard Shaw 丘吉尔和肖伯纳 52
13 Business Just Started 事业刚起步 52
14 God’s Perfect Masterpiece 上帝最完美的杰作 53
15 Hearing Problem 听力问题 54
16 The King’s Brother 国王的兄弟 55
17 Choose 选择 56
18 Who Was the First Man 谁是第一个男人 57
19 Not Having It All Cut Off 没把头发全部剪掉 58
20 Where Is Your Father 你爸在哪里 59
21 My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我妻子不下蛋 60
22 Captain’s Sister 上尉的妹妹 62
23 Letter to the Lord 写给上帝的信 63
24 Take Some Sand Paper Instead 用砂纸代替 64
25 The Wonder in the Bathtub 浴缸里的精品 66
26 The Best Salesman in the World 世界上最好的销售员 67
27 You Believe a Donkey 相信驴的话 69
28 An Englishman and a French Barber 英国人和法国理发师 71
第四章 诡异逻辑
1 Is That You Tom 是你吗，汤姆 74
2 An Interesting Man 一位有趣的男人 74
3 Harmful Movie 有害的电影 75
4 A Smart Housewife 精明的主妇 75
5 I Had to Change It Twice 不得不换两次 76
6 Twenty Pounds 二十磅 76
7 Borrow Money 借钱 77
8 Squeeze Twice for No 听不见捏两下 77
9 Card 卡片 78
10 Never Mind 不必担心 78
11 Still Too Dear 还是太贵 79
12 Paint House 刷房子 80
13 A Reason to Live for 活着的理由 81
14 Tony and Kyle 托尼和凯尔 81
15 A Man with Two Badly Burned Ears 一个两只耳朵严重烧伤的男人 82
16 Glad to Be Drunk 很高兴喝醉了 83
17 Is the General Expecting You 将军在等你吗 84
18 What To Do 怎么做 84
19 Race 比赛 85
20 Keep the Change 不用找零钱 86
21 Rain 雨 87
22 We Didn’t Step on It 还好没踩到 88
23 An Ad 一则广告 88
24 Who Dares Move Me 谁敢动我 89
25 Vow of Silence 沉默誓言 90
26 How Will I Find My Ring There 在那儿怎么找得到我的戒指 92
27 The Drunk 醉鬼 93
28 I Don’t Want It Either 我也不想要了 94
29 The Hard Five Minutes 难忍的五分钟 96
30 The Pope Himself Drives 教皇本人亲自开车 97
第五章 各有所思
1 Who Do You Think You Are 你以为你是谁 102
2 Walks Normally 走得正常 102
3 Things Go Athwart 事与愿违 103
4 I Must Be God 我一定是上帝 103
5 That’s No Good to Me 对我没用 104
6 Found Two 发现两颗 104
7 I’m Going to Sell the Car 打算卖这辆车 105
8 Without a Stove 没有火炉 105
9 Like My Father 像父亲一样 106
10 Upset Is Unhealthy 心烦即病 107
11 Looking for My Car Keys 找车钥匙 108
12 The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店员 108
13 I’m Not Married 我还没结婚 109
14 I Had to Kiss Him 我还得吻他 110
15 Someone’s Deodorant Isn’t Working？ 谁的除臭剂不管用了？ 110
16 Stupid Question 笨问题 111
17 Poisonous or Not 中毒没有 112
18 Legal Consultation Service 法律咨询费 113
19 The Discovery 探索发现 114
20 The Generous Bosses 慷慨的老板 115
21 I Am Acting like a Lady 表现得像女士 116
22 An Audition 面试 117
23 The Cat and the Saucer 猫与托盘 118
24 Get Out of Here 你给我滚出去 119
25 Did That Take You an Hour？ 这花了你一个小时？ 120
26 Hair‐Cutting 理发 122
27 What If... 如果……咋办？ 123
28 Charitable Lawyer 行善的律师 125
29 The Witness 见证人 126
第六章 秀外晦中
1 A Careless Barber 粗心的理发师 130
2 Qualification 称职 130
3 Helping to Clean the Dishes 帮助洗碗 131
4 Not Fair 不公平 131
5 One Egg Less 少了一个 132
6 The Dog Doesn’t Bite 不咬人的狗 132
7 Nine Bouquets of Flowers 九束鲜花 133
8 Out of Luck 运气不好 134
9 Old Age Eyesight 老年人的视力 135
10 Death in the Family 家庭中的死亡 136
11 Take off Cap 摘帽 137
12 Very Busy 太忙 138
13 Doggie Funeral 狗的葬礼 139
14 What the Problem Is 问题所在 140
15 An Englishman 一个英国人 141
16 The Patient Suffered a Severe Relapse 病情再度恶化 142
17 Making All the People Happy 使所有人都高兴 143
18 God Will Pay the Bill 上帝付药费 144
19 Upsetting the Stewardess 让空姐慌张 146
20 Quick Fix 快速固定 147
21 Lawyer 律师 149
22 It’s Getting Worse 更糟了 150
23 A LittIe Boy 小男孩 152
24 Two Men 两个男人 153
25 The Deaf Collector 聋子收钱 155
26 A Nice Stone 上好的石头 157
27 City Fellow 城里人 158
28 A Cheapskate 小气鬼 160
第七章 编外斗狠
1 Modern Art 现代艺术 164
2 Like Mother, Like Daughter 有其母必有其女 164
3 Why don’t You Come Back in June 为什么不六月份来 165
4 He Wanted Two Ballons 他想要两只气球 165
5 Expensive Price 昂贵的代价 166
6 Reason 原因 167
7 Stubborn Horse 倔马 168
8 Kids 孩子 168
9 Pink Suit Sale 粉红外套卖出去了 169
10 Get Off 马上离开 171
11 The Number of Passengers 乘客人数 172
12 You’re Going to Die 你快死啦 173
13 Brother in South America 南美洲的哥哥 175
14 Don’t Eat a Person Who Is Working 别吃干活的人 175
15 Musical Interlude 音乐插曲 177
16 Got any Duck Food？ 有鸭食吗？ 178
17 Duck Hunting 猎雁 180
18 Make a Bet 打赌 182
19 The First Class Cabin 头等舱 186
20 The Bad Day 糟糕的一天 187
21 Two Smart Blind Men 两个聪的盲人 188
22 An Affair 偷情 191
23 Where is rice from？ 米从何来 192
作者简介
高雅哲，《时文选粹》《智慧背囊》《精美散文诗》《预见力》等书主编，作品涉及时尚生活、成功励志及健康领域。